OK, confession time – unlike most peoples’ (and teenage girls’) opinions about this beloved writer of our generation, I have strongly mixed feelings about where I stand on the issue of ‘OMG How much do you love Nicholas Sparks?’ Now calm down, don’t get your panties in a twist, I didn’t say I hate him (yet), and I haven’t said otherwise either (yet). I’m just here to tell you about my love-hate relationship with our darling N.S. and hope you end up as confused as I feel.
(Yes, raining on your romance-squeal parade just might make my day, so what, don’t judge me. Oops, sorry not sorry.)
Raising the Bar a little too high there, Sparky boy
All your lovey-dovey unrealistic shit and basic lack of new plots is making me sick Sparks, so stop it. Just freaking don’t. That stuff is too damn cute even though it’s all kind of similar and it’s not fair that I’ll never get a kiss or a romance like that if I live a thousand lives. Ruining peoples’ lives ain’t funny business and it’s not good to make people doubt there’s something wrong with the way they get their flirt on and get relationships to work. Why would you do that to someone, that’s just mean, plain and simple! I’ll see you in hell, Sparks. In. Hell.
2. But We Love It
Yeah, I’ll be the first to admit that my oh-so-soft-and-romantic heart sighed and cried 4 times the first time I read ‘The Notebook“. So what? Don’t pretend you didn’t tear up. We hate his guts for making our relationship status at an all-time ‘single’ but god damn, we want that shit. We want to read about that beautiful, impossibly tragic love and how those broken hearts made it work against all odds. We live for that. We. Want. That. Shit.
3. Stuff like that JUST doesn’t happen in real life
Yeah, sure. Like even after losing your wife to 9/11, finding new love and loving her after her she gets cancer would ever happen (not to us anyway). What, Nicholas Sparks characters don’t get bogged down by pressurizing parents, social status and leukemia? Bullshit. And unrealistic. So unrealistic.
You should be kissed everyday, every hour, every minute.
Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Or that anybody’s got the time for that sappy line. I mean Come. On.
But we totally wish it did
I mean, Come. On. Don’t you, though? Sparks has got this way of making us feel warm and fuzzy inside, no matter how many times he throws out similar-looking plots at us. He sets the mood for you, and you better be ready with a big-ass tub to cry yourself a river when you’re done. God, that man will be the death of us all with his old-school romantic gestures and kisses in the rain. Jesus Christ. Who doesn’t love a guy who holds us when we cry and look like shit?
*self-consciously raises hand slowly*
So yeah, that’s how I feel about it. Uh huh. I’m gonna go now, and do something…you know, arm wrestle crocodiles, the usual *tries too hard to act cool*…oh alright you know what I’m going to be doing.
Deliya x 🙂