Some of this stuff is general and some of these are super-specific to me. But yeah, here are the things that annoy the hell out of me. (Yeah, I’m having a moody day, back off!)
1. People who walk slowly in front of you on sidewalks
Slow walking people, die.
2. When you’re on the tube, and everyone is pushing and pulling you to get on or off.
I might act like this, but inside, know that I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.
3. Girls with no self-respect who talk about their ‘sad’ lives all the damn time
Yeah, you. Listen to Rachel McAdams. Shut up, and know from the bottom of my heart, I don’t give a shit.
4. Slow wi-fi/internet crashes
OK, so this one’s a first-world problem and yeah, I get it, it’s sorta shallow. But goddamn it, when the internet crashes when I was doing something important is when I hate life most.
5. Stubbing my toe
Yeah, thats what I feel like when this happens to me.
6. When people bring their loud/obnoxious/whiny children to the movies
Why did you bring it when you know other humans were going to be there? We paid to watch (and actually hear the dialogues of) the movie, not to listen to 2 hours of your kid crying and kicking.
7. Thin people who complain that they’re fat
Oh really, bitch? Are you? That’s interesting. No, please, tell me more.
8. When you hold the door for someone and they don’t acknowledge it
Yeah, you’re ungrateful. The end.
9. When people chew gum and leave it around for people to step on.
Thats just mean, why would you do that? Why? WHY?
10. Teenagers who smoke in public places
No, it’s not cool. It’s just a bother to everyone around you and you’re probably just going to die a terrible death.
11. Stupid people trying to butt in and make jokes when you’re trying to be serious
You’re not funny. You’re just annoying. Stop it.
12. When the attendant tells you there will be a delay for your flight
Yeah, this is how I’ll act, but I don’t like you. Or your children. You tell me to come 3 hours early to catch the flight only to later tell me that I might as well have slept 2 hours more. Yeah thanks, thanks a whole lot.
13. People who flip their hair a lot
Yeah, sorry, but you don’t look sexy, you look like a fly swatter.
14. Bad hair days
Ah yes, the days you start to seriously consider the whole Miley Cyrus boy-cut.
15. People who talk about the death of my favourite fictional characters when I’m still in denial
Yeah, screw you, stupid human. Screw. you.
16. When you’re not sure if someone’s listening to you because they’re texting while you talk
Yeah, I don’t think we should be friends anymore. This seems like a logical stopping point in our friendship.
17. When you’re talking to someone hot and someone interrupts you
Alright, so you think you can just waltz in here and dominate the conversation when, in fact, this took me 3 weeks of planning and here you are, screwing it up. Thanks, let me just take another 2 weeks to get back from this.
18. PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
Yes, everyone on this bus now knows your two-day anniversary was today. Can you stop now? There are children here.
19. Someone being really mean to my friends
What, is Simon Cowell your father?
20. When people don’t like weird people
Because in all honesty, I love them.